It was a cloudy day, even so I had need to adjust my eyesight once entering the Gem. It was nearly black as the inside of a lawyer’s heart, not in respect to the departed, but because the activities pursued within were almost always best practiced in the dark. I took a moment to acclimate my vision. There were a couple of whale oil lamps which shed what little illumination there was to be had, and they let me know that besides me, there were three characters seated around a tilting, round table, and a tender behind the bar. This was Julius Spander, made newly famous by the slanderous article recently printed in The Daily Times.
“Hello Sam,” he greeted me as I felt my way to the bar, really just a plank set on two barrels. “It’s a little late for your eye opener. It’s nearly ten.” I told him that I was all business that morning, and was maintaining my sharp senses. However, not wanting to antagonize a potential news source, I accepted a glass from him, and drained it off. I had known Julius for six months, and knew him as a man to befriend when drunk, and avoid when he was sober. He topped six feet by several inches, and a prize hog by several pounds. Peering in I could see that he was clear eyed, and accordingly I took my stance at the far end of his bar.
“Have one on me, Julius,” I said companionably. He squinted in my direction warily.
“And add it to your tab?”
“Not at all,” I replied, slapping a dollar onto the bar top. “I’m feeling fine today, and wish to share my good fortune. Especially with those who have stood me well in the past.” He continued to regard me suspiciously, but poured himself a drink and swilled it. I pointed out that the change would get him another two drinks at least, and he became more agreeable.
“What accounts for your good mood?” he asked.
“I am often thus,” I said happily, “when on to a good story.” He sipped his third drink and pretended to dust the bar at his end, but I could tell that the hook was already in. “Have another,” I said cheerfully, replacing the lost dollar with the same. “And another.”
He grunted a grudging thanks and did not hesitate. He dusted closer to me, making small talk the way a bar man does. After half a dozen whiskeys he was in a mood to match my own, and dusting the bar especially for me.
“So, what sort of ‘good story’ are you on about?”
“Why none other than the true story the Virginia City cannibal.” He snorted loudly.
“That story’s ripe!” he laughed. “It got done days ago, by that reporter for The Times. Don’t you know that, Sam?”
I made a show of my disappointment. My face dragged close to the splintery surface of the bar. I shook my head slowly, in profound disgust. “You mean to tell me,” I finally said, “that someone already figured out that Mr. Phoenix, late of the Donner party, isn’t the culprit?” He squinted more fiercely than before, and, resting his elbows on the bar his chin on his hands, leaned closely.
“What’s this your sayin’? I ain’t served you but one drink that morning. You been drinkin’ at home, Sam?”
“Not a bit,” said I. He rubbed his chin in concentrated thought.
“Then why are you sayin’ that Phoenix ain’t the one?”
I made a show of disgust, and shook my head. “Now Julius, there’s no cause to go and have fun at my expense. Just because somebody else got to the truth of the matter before I did, it’s no reason to mock me. There’s many, probably, who didn’t suspect that Moses Phoenix was not guilty of this horrible crime.”
At that he straightened up and made a show of wiping down the bar. I had him, I could tell. I had him good, and he wouldn’t want to be the last one to be in the know. He was already imagining himself lording it over the less fortunate, the gullible fools who had jumped to the false assumption. He pretended to ask his question casually.
“Now, I’m not sayin’ you were the last to know,” he allowed. “I’m only interested in how you came by your conclusion. You know, what was your method?”
“Well then, if you’re sure you’re not still making fun.” He swore he wasn’t. I told him that I would be glad to take him through every step of my process, but that it could best be done by showing him, just as I had deduced it myself. First though, I would have to have his solemn vow not to reveal my means until I had published them for the world to see. Once they had caught the drift of my genius, he could bather about it ll he wished. Eager to witness the superior mind in action, he readily agreed.
Airily, I waved him towards the back door of his establishment. He chased the few drunken customers out of the front door and quickly locked it. Assuming a pose of complicit mystery,he crept to my side and awaited my instruction.
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